I can't believe I have allowed myself to get to this point of utter disgust and frustration. This feeling is simply found inside my soul. It has to do with me. I have allowed unnecessary purchasing, buildup of paperwork, drawers overflowing. The list goes on and on. It is to the point that the sound of a phone ringing sends me over-the-top wanting to yell into the clouds for HELP!!! Help to save me from myself. I smell the dirt above me, which I have buried myself for no good reason at all.
Consumerism = wanting to be someone I am not.
But I've been thinking...
Do I even want to be that person I am not?
Not really.
It's just totally in my mind.
Hoarding crap. Being lazy. Not knowing where to start.
And I still don't.
I've failed. One godzillion times.
I don't want to feel like I am constantly failing. I don't think anyone really does.
I don't want to feed my multiple personalities.
I want to just be. Is that so much to ask? Because it sure as hell seems like it.
I'm going to do a weekly experiment. It's likely starting place is right here in my office at work. I'm going to clean out my desk drawers and files for a clear plate. I'm going to get rid of all the unnecessary. Bye e-mails, bye clutter, bye random files that no one cares about.
And then I am going to make it a point to only check my work e-mail twice a day. Morning and afternoon and that is all.
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